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AH! CHRISTMAS (OR IS IT AAAAAARGH!! CHRISTMAS?)
Ah, Christmas: the pressure to have a wonderful/jolly/peaceful time builds weeks before December 25th. Sometimes the reality is a miserable/anxious/combative time. The worst Christmas that I remember experiencing involved being alone in a remote cottage, in gales and pouring rain, with the possibility of being flooded by sewage and waking to an electricity cut. That meant sandbags at the doors, no heating or hot water, no cooker or tv in those pre-internet days.
What got me through (apart from the linesmen’s heroic work to get the power back by the evening), was being able to phone a neutral, empathetic person, (The Samaritans 08457 909090),
who let me feel sorry for myself, allowing me to cry and to be angry, until I started feeling better. Because of his listening skills and his witnessing of my feelings, I was freed up to access some self-support and to consider some creative ideas for being less miserable.
Reflective listening is amongst the attributes of a good counsellor, as is having a non-judgmental, open mind and an awareness of self. A client can be overwhelmed by strong feelings, feel distressed, be struggling with anger, lacking in self-confidence, grieving or stuck in depression. Being heard by somebody who listens and who can allow feelings to be expressed safely is a relief. Clarity follows, often with the discovery of options hitherto unnoticed, and choice for change.
However kind friends and family are, it is hard for them to hear discomfort or pain. They often feel they must solve the problem, when what may be needed is further exploration.
Cotswold Talking Therapies offers professional counselling and longer-term therapy, (in several locations), to individuals, to couples, to young people, to the housebound and to separating couples participating in collaborative law.
Christabel Butler UKAHPP,UKCP,MBACP,UKRC
Co-founder, Cotswold Talking Therapies
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Sunday 20 May 2012